“I love being married. It’s so great to find one special person you want to annoy for the rest of your life.” — Rita Rudner, comedian, actress, and writer
I’ll be the first to concede that I married someone who is a far better human being than I am.
My husband Alan is a godsend. He is truly my “Island of Peace” – there’s no better cure for a lousy day than one of his hugs. He’s funny, kind, patient, thoughtful, even-tempered, and of solid moral character. A running friend who has gotten to know Alan over the past year recently asked me, half-jokingly, “Is he a Boy Scout?!”
Alan prides himself on being, at all times, extremely logical – a trait that undoubtedly serves him well as an engineer. I, on the other hand, am willing to embrace the irrational, if for nothing else, a little entertainment around the house…
Mispronouncing the Name of Apple Co-founder Steve Jobs
Lisa: “Did you hear there’s a new biography out on Steve Jobes? I hear it’s pretty good.”
Alan: “You know that his name is Steve Jobs, right?”
Lisa: “Well I know that’s what he’s being called.”
Alan: “Everyone calls him that. The media call him that. His mother calls him that. He calls himself that. That is his name.”
Lisa: “Perhaps, but I like Steve Jobes, so I’m going to keep calling him that. Jobs sounds so pedestrian, and he was anything but pedestrian.”
Alan: “This conversation is over.”
The (Then) “President” of the United States
Alan: [Shared a piece of trivia about George W. Bush.]
Lisa: “Hmm. Interesting. But I reject George Bush’s presidency.”
Alan: “What? You can’t reject his presidency. He won the electoral votes. [Insert lengthy explanation here… Blah, blah, blah.]”
Lisa: “Oh, I can, and I most certainly do, reject his presidency. The last time I checked we were still living in a democracy and there were no thought police. Bush may occupy the Office of the President, and people may recognize him as such, but I reject his presidency. Gore had the popular vote. Al Gore is the true President of the United States.”
Alan: “This conversation is over.”
Before you begin to pity Alan, know that he has a dry, acerbic wit and he’s not afraid to use it.
Our Anniversary
Lisa: “It’s going to be our five-year anniversary in four months! Let’s celebrate it. What shall we do? Any ideas?”
Alan: “Hmmm. We better wait to see if we make it.”
First World Problems
Lisa: “Arghhhhh!! I hate it when they put stickers on my fruit. Why do they do that?! Why?! Look at what this has done to my peach! $#@%!!”
Alan: “Now settle down.”
Lisa: “I’d like to file a formal complaint about this!”
Alan: “Hang on.” He takes out a pad of Post-it Notes. “Does not like stickers on fruit,” he writes, speaking aloud. He then pulls off the top note and slaps it so that it adheres securely on the underside of his desk. “Consider it filed. Anything else?”
As you can see, Alan and I love joking around with each other. We laugh daily and hope you do, too! Life is short and the world can always use a little more laughter. 🙂
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